Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 shared an article 9 Things a Successful Person Won’t Do warning that successful people don’t say yes to things they don’t want to do. Personally, I am interested in a lot of things and there were always opportunities for learning and serving in my organization or community a various ways so learning to say ‘no’ was a hard won victory for me. At some point in my career, I saw clearly that all my yeses were amounting to clear no’s for some of my own personal and professional goals. A well placed “what an exciting opportunity, I am thrilled that you thought of me. Let me think on that/check my calendar and get back with you….” can really be a life-saver.  Just getting a little space between you and a request gives you the time to center on what is important to you. I have learned graceful nays from others as well. Dr. Susan Williams, Nashville based expert professional development trainer, talks about how to give a good no. Here are her tips on creating a “no sandwich.” Determine what is your big “yes” and say yes to that- family, your health, a more pressing goal. Then say “no” to the current request that poses a challenge to that subordinate yes. Then finish with a final “yes” by saying yes to find an alternative applicant, offering to review a report when it is completed by someone else or offering to be “on call” if they need help in the future. Dr. Williams said it best when she said, “(b)y defining the big yes, I am able to say a positive no.” Do you know what your non-negotiables are? Start there, leave yourself some room for traffic, ice-storms, down-time and other unplanned events, and understand that you only then have a little time left to play with. What you say ‘yes’ to matters, and maybe even more importantly, so do the things to which you say ‘no.’